Wednesday, February 8, 2012

PR As Banana Stealing



 The basic meme for PR, which, for me at least ,includes advertising, marketing and a lot of other stuff not to be mentioned in polite conversation, is probably banana stealing.

When one chimpanzee sees another with a banana -- he wants it.  He may be hungry -- he may not be hungry. But he wants it anyway. Envy.  We…sorry!…chimpanzees ...decide their needs by looking around and comparing themselves with their mates.

If the Have-Not chimpanzee is really big, he will simply go and take that banana.  Kinda like big corporations, when they see an entrepreneur with a new idea.  They go and take it -- and then defend that primordial act using the "intellectual property laws".

But I digress... (there are 3 kinds of people -- progressives, regressives and digressives.)

To return to my argument, if the banana-deprived chimp is smaller or if there are several other chimps with bananas and he/she is outnumbered, he/se will try a more subtle kind of robbery.  He will try to distract the banana-hoarder and then grab it and eat it on the run.  Banana? What banana?

OK -- human beings are not animals, you say.  Our currency is the dollar, not bananas, even if bananas are now worth more.  And if we steal other people won't stand for it -- they'll beat us up or throw us in jail -- unless, of course, we are a.) really big  b.) really rich.  Human beings are different.

Besides --(and I read this on the Internet so I know it's true!)  our closest cousins in the animal kingdom are not chimps – but bonobos, --who are much more cooperative and less given to violence – and (therefore)  on the verge of extinction. 

However…when Bonobo #1 sees Bonobo #2 with a banana what does he/she do?  Offer sex, of course.
Straight or gay, it doesn’t matter—seduction rules.  Bonobos spend a lot of their time getting it on. They do not have jobs. They don't contribute to society.  They don't have a lot of rules.  Kinda like the 1% but without lawyers and accountants.

A lot people  get uncomfortable, with such comparisons.. Huff. Puff. Nothing to do with PR, marketing. advertising and other higher human functions!  HigherHuman ?  Hmmmm….  Yeah, yeah, the Bible told me so.  “And God created Woman out of spare ribs”….

I digress…. again.  Let us return to the philosophical part.

Does PR play on envy?  Does it involve various kinds of intimidation?  Or distraction? Does it use appeals to sex?  

Intimidation is a tricky concept because it suggests that PR is used to bully people.  So young people feel less…well…people – without  IPhones?   Is that some kind of bullying?  Social intimidation is such a stretch. 

 Are MTV and the SuperBowl  just huge distractions? Nonsense, they are entertainment.

Do advertisers just love TV events, as entertainment of course.  Take the presidential elections, for example, which the Supreme Court recognized in its Citizens United decision as just good clean fun.  While you are hynotized by your TV, are companies selling you stuff ? 

Ok, ok, you get a little shock when you look at your credit card bills, but who doesn't?

And sex?  What would my sex life be like without JungleBox Men’s Cologne and Alpha Pimple Remover? Could I be the Great Seducer that I am without them?  Thank god for Porn.

Nah…we are human beings, higher creatures-- were most definitely not like chimpanzees, who spend a lot of time bullying each other and occasionally beating each other up, while waging violent war against other tribes.  We are not like bonobos, who waste their hours fucking each other and engaging in sex games. God has told us that we are better and that we should wear clothes, have political parties and watch a lot of TV.   And we should prefer hamburgers to bananas.  

Now, I gotta change the channel. And eat a banana hamburger.

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